Neighbor wars part 2

:sigh: It has happened.

:bigger sigh: Snotrod has waged war.

Earlier this summer I told you about our lovely neighbor that we affectionately dubbed Snotrod. Read Neighbor Wars part I to refresh your memory.

It has been no secret that I despise him with the depths of my soul. He is rank. Actually rank really isn't harsh enough. Vial? No even that is too nice. It's not enough that he is still launching his rockets, parading around in his beer belly uniform, stealing our trash (more on that) and generally oozing negativity on the whole block. But now...

Over the summer he started doing something that is just plain making me crazy. He is waving "Hi" to me. It's actually pretty genius on his part, the ole kill em' with kindness gag. Gag! Ha! So when I walk to the mail box or drive by he extends his arm out, twinkles his fingers, and says real high pitch "hellllllllllo". I just either look away (vomit) or mumble, hi. I guess I wasn't too subtle in my hatred - was the sign I carry that says go to hell to obvious? Jerk now stares me down as I pass his house. Crap. Now I look like the ass. How did that happen?

And another thing... he is social with the other neighbors. What is wrong with them? He is toxic, he is dangerous, he is a felon. Stay away! Don't encourage him. We need him gone not feeling nice and rosey! Ugh.

This morning he was out front collecting his trash cans - trash cans that he stole from OUR TRASH one day (oh yes) - and he was wearing a top coat (shocked he owns one) shorts and no shirt. He glared at me - I glared at him. My hate is palpable. I may or may not have placed a secret phone call to the NSA suspecting a terrorist plot is being hatched in his home. Ok. Not really but I fantasize about doing that.

I'm not really sure what to do. Sydney knows full and well to stay away from him. Our nanny knows to stay away. The next time the cops are there, which is typically every 6 weeks or so, I am going to demand some information. I want to know what his deal is.

I really like our house but he just may be the reason I insist we move someday.

So until a gigantic meteor lands on his house, or rouge missile I am stuck with him.

Drats.



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--best